Work/Life Balance When Working From Home

Know the feeling??

The phrase work/life balance always sets me on edge because it suggests that when you’re at work, you’re not having a life.  I’m here to tell you that your life is your work – in the sense that you don’t suddenly become another person when you’re there.  Well, not that much anyway!  However, you do need to create balance between your work and the other roles that you have, in order to have a fulfilling experience of life.  The other roles include:  wife, husband, parent, sibling, daughter, son, chairperson of the club – you get the picture.

As I see it, there are 2 basic challenges that occur when we work from home.  These apply to small business owners in particular, but anyone who works from home will find identify with most of the points.

1) Difficulty switching off from the business 

2) Difficulty getting motivated and focused on the work you need to do, because of all the distractions

1)    Difficulty switching off from the business 

  1. It helps to dedicate one room in the house where your work happens, rather than leaving it all round the place.  The challenge with laptops and mobile devices is that they are always there with you wherever you are.  Have the confidence to switch them off, or leave them in the office when you are not there.  No-one expects that you will always be available.  That’s why voicemail exists.

2.  Set clear boundaries.  Decide what times you will work on your business.  One of the benefits of running your own business is that to a large extent you get to choose your working hours.  If you’re an early morning person you might like to start at 7am and finish by 3pm for instance.  Of course, you have the flexibility to change your hours if the need arises, and you will find that in the peaks you’ll work longer.  That’s ok, as long as whenever possible you keep within your chosen parameters.  Don’t let yourself get into the habit of working all hours, just because you can. 

3.  Set expectations right at the beginning of your working relationships.  If you don’t want customers calling you at 10pm of an evening, either get a separate phone line for business calls and leave them to go to voicemail; or if you don’t have a separate business line, answer the call and explain you don’t work past 7pm (or whatever time you’ve chosen).  Offer to phone them back at a convenient time for both of you.  If you take a call at 10pm from a potential customer, you will educate them from the outset that you are happy to take calls at that time of night throughout your relationship with them. 

4.  Wellbeing.   Look after your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.  If you were a car, you would expect to break down if you put diesel in an unleaded engine; if you didn’t get a regular service, and if you continually let it run on empty.  Your all round health is important because you are your business.  To help make sure you are fit for purpose, I suggest you:

                                          i.     see a qualified nutritionist.  Unlike a car, we don’t come with a manual that tells us what fuel to use for our own particular make and model.  A nutritionist will ask you to complete a diet sheet for a week.  They will analyze what you’ve consumed and create the optimum diet plan for you. 

                                         ii.    seek out a personal trainer (or yoga/pilates teacher) and design a sustainable exercise programme, that will fit in around your lifestyle.

                                        iii.    book regular lunch breaks.  As well as creating time to top up your tank, you need to give yourself permission and space to create ideas.  Try to get outside if possible.  It helps change your emotional state which lets ideas flow.  It also gives you crucial exposure to sunlight.  Sunlight activates the production of Vitamin D.  A lack of Vitamin D can cause numerous health challenges, and is being considered as one of the causes in the steady increase of Multiple Sclerosis.

                                        iv.    schedule time out just for you – book a regular massage/golf lesson/ coffee with a friend/shopping trip – whatever floats your boat and makes all the hard work worthwhile.

5.  Choice.  You have chosen to work from home, for whatever reason.  If you are feeling overwhelmed, go back to your original intention for making this choice.  If you are finding that it has more downs than ups, you can always re-consider your options.  There are increasing numbers of office ‘hubs’ available for people who work for themselves.  Working from home is not for everyone.  Remember, you always have a choice. 

2)     Difficulty getting motivated and focused on the business

There are lots of time management systems and tools to help get you organized.  However, as an experienced coach who has worked with numerous people over the years, I have found that no matter how groovy these systems are, they have their limits because they don’t take in account the P word.  Procrastination.   If the P word is driving your agenda, no matter how efficient your system is, you will still find yourself doing the washing, the ironing or cleaning the skirting boards rather than make that important phone call. 

 It’s all about accountability.  When the only person we’re accountable to is ourselves, it’s all too easy to move the goal posts.  In fact, it’s all too easy to not know where they are in the first place.  Creating your own personal support team will help you shift procrastination into action.  You might not have the luxury of a boss to help keep you focused, so finding other people who you respect and who you feel accountable to, can help you eliminate procrastination.  In fact, having someone, or a group of people, there to support you will bring you priceless benefits.

 The Benefits of a Personal Support Team

a)    Focus.  You’ll get a clearer idea of your USP’s and give you the space to decide how to use them.  This will help you set clear intentions (or goals) and plan towards them. 

b)    Accountability.  It’s much harder to move the goal posts when you have made a commitment that’s been witnessed by someone else, especially if they are acting as your champion.

c)     Celebrating Your Success.  Working from home can be a lonely experience.  Most of us like to interact with others and in particular, share our achievements.   It’s also very easy to get deeply serious about our business that perspective goes out the window.  And just as importantly, when we do find something to laugh about, having a chuckle on your own isn’t nearly as much fun as sharing a funny story with people face to face.  We all know that we feel great after a good belly laugh.  There is no point having a thriving business if you’re not enjoying it.  Sharing your success, and a good laugh with people who care is a priceless bonus. 

d)    Learning from failure.  Failure is all part of the journey towards success.  Your support team isn’t there to indulge your failures, but to help you learn from them.

 If you would like to have me on your personal support team to inspire you, motivate you, focus you and celebrate your successes, contact me today (you’re not procrastinating, are you?)

Personal Support Teams Help Business Owners Work From Home Effectively

Lacking inspiration on your own??

Do you find it difficult to focus?  Is a lack of accountability challenging you?  Are you unable to concentrate for more than 5 minutes without giving in to the slightest distraction?  You’re not alone!

I know that I find it incredibly tempting to do lots of other things before I settle down to work.  Right now for instance, I have a pile of washing that needs attending to, a dishwasher that needs emptying, dinner to sort out for the family tonight, and a messy lounge.  Not to mention the other distractions that easily take my attention – FaceBook, Twitter, Jeremy Vine on Radio 2.  And, finally, being a  natural people person means I find it challenging to get creative and innivotive on my own.  When I do come up with my next magnificant goal or intention, the only person who really cares whether or not I implement it, is me. 

If you recognise yourself in my description, then you’ll welcome an idea to help you get focused, and working smarter.  The most important, and single most beneficial thing that I’ve done this year is collaborate with two like-minded associates to set up our own ‘support team’.  It has already reaped its rewards, and I’ve had my most successful January ever!

If you’re a sole trader like me, then you don’t have the luxury of a boss to help whip you into action.  Finding other people who can help act as a steer to help guide your otherwise rudderless ship, can be priceless.  Its all about accountability.  When the only person we’re accountable to is ourselves, its all too easy to move the goal posts.  Infact, its all too easy to not know where they are in the first place.

Your own personal ‘support team’ can include anyone, as long as they want to support you to be the best you can be (and you them of course).  Let’s face it, you wouldn’t expect to find an Olympic athlete training on their own without the inspiration and motivation that a sports coach provides them.  Your support team might come from existing friendships, associates, or from the services of a professional business coach.   There are no rules about how big, or small your support team should be.  Ours is three strong, myself and my two associates.  Obviously, the bigger your group, the more organising it takes and you might find this defeats the object. 

The most important thing is that you absolutely must like and trust your support team.  There is no point getting together with anyone unless these two fundamentals are in place. 

In my team, it helps that our belief systems are very similar.  We hold the same philosophy of life, and because much of our work is based on helping other people understand and develop their own emotional and spiritual intelligence, this is very useful.  We don’t have to spend time explaining the fundamentals of what we each believe in order to come up with creative and supportive ideas.

In addition, whilst our mindsets are similar, our unique skills and personalities bring more ideas and a broader amount of experience to help quantify the ideas.  It helps that two of us are trained coaches and therefore our facilitation skills, and management of emotions and feelings are easily contained.  This is a really important factor of working with your own support team. 

If the team is truly there to support each other, then each person within it will, at times, have the need to challenge the ideas that are discussed.  If this is done clumsily, it could damage the relationship between you, rendering the team completely ineffective and possibly even harmed.  So, its important to employ good, workable feedback techniques – such as the good old ‘feedback sandwich’ – offer a positive perspective, then the negative, then some more positive. 

My team also live several miles apart from each other, and so even though our target markets are similar, we don’t feel threatened by each other and infact we are working on some collaborative projects that will bring all our talents together for the benefit of all. 

When I’m acting as a business coach for other professional coaches, they tend to choose me because I’m not operating in their area – offering telephone/skype coaching helps facilitate this.

Skype is a fabulous tool to help you make the most of your time.  Its low cost and a great way to stay in touch regularly.  We’ve found its the best way to communicate when we just want to keep in touch in between our monthly face to face meetings.  We schedule in weekly half hour skype calls.  The time goes very quickly, but because we’ve agreed to just 30 minutes, it helps cut out the chit chat and gets us focused.  The chit chat can happen at any time, but this is our working time and we’ve committed to each other that this is what we’ll use it for.

Taking the time to get specific with my associates has helped me become more focused.  I now have a clearer idea of what projects I want to embark on this year.  In turn, this has helped me get my planning head on and put some dates in the diary so that I can work towards them.  What you choose to focus on with your own support team is entirely up to you.  It might be broader projects you wish to undertake, or it might simply be keeping on top of day to day business.

You might want to use it to help you get clearer about what you uniquely offer your clients.  I recently went to a speed networking event, which meant we each had 1 1/2 minutes to tell the person sitting opposite us who our ideal client would be.  We did this at least 15 times and by the end although I was exhausted, I knew that I’d made the most of the time by being clear – because my support team and I had worked on this with each other the week before.

And finally, we all know that that a problem shared is a problem halved.  What we sometimes forget is that a good laugh shared, is a good laugh doubled.  Well, that’s what I think anyway!  Its very easy to get so serious about our business that we forget to enjoy it.  There is no point having a thriving business if you don’t enjoy it.  Sharing your ups as well as your downs, is a priceless bonus to the support group idea. 

If you would like to find out how I might be able to help inspire you, motivate you, focus you and share your ups and downs then I’d be delighted to hear from you.  Call Swan Coaching on 01582 413013 or email swancoaching@btinternet.com

My Career Journey

Like everyone else, I was a caterpillar waiting to become a butterfly at school.  And like most of the caterpillars around me, I didn’t know that becoming a butterfly was even vaguely within my capabilities.  I thought I would follow the route laid down by my Mum, and her Mum before her, which was to be a secretary, even though the idea gave me an itch that I did not know how to scratch.

Dad offered me the chance to get some work experience with some journalists he knew, but this did not fill me with any kind of enthusiasm.   The itch turned out to be a desire to work with people in some kind of helping capacity.  Becoming a nurse was an obvious choice back in the early 80′s, and it was the only suggestion offered to me by our schools careers advisor.  But, I didn’t like the idea of mopping up vomit, and in those days I didn’t like chemistry or physics either so becoming a doctor was out of the question. 

Eventually I chose to go to college and study to become a medical secretary.  A halfway house between a familiar world, and what I really loved.   I was able to study human biology, and when I eventually got my first job at as a secretary at Moorfields Eye Hospital in London, I loved all the specialist terminology as well as being part of the fabric of the hospital environment.  I loved the atmosphere.  To me hospitals are a place full of hope.  Everyone working towards a common goal of restoring people to health. 

I lasted just 9 months however when the itch returned and I felt the need to find something more fulfilling.  I went to work as a PA in the Inner London Probation Service at Kings Cross.  This livened things up a bit I can tell you.   I loved it there because I met some of the most vivid characters London had to offer.  I chose to sit at the desk nearest the reception area, which meant I was the one who greeted all the clients as they reported in to see their assigned probation officers.  I would make them cups of tea and listen to their personal stories.  I’d sometimes go to Court with them, and I’m the only person of all my friends and family who’s been to Clerkenwell Court, and Pentonville Prison on several occasions!

I left the Probation Service after an enjoyable 3 years in search of new challenges, and to some extent had forgotten about the itch.  I got a job at Hemel Hospital in Personnel, as a Medical Staffing Officer.  I was responsible for the administration for all the junior doctors.  The bit I liked most was when I used to sit on the interview panels, and help nervous candidates prepare for the interview.  However, the itch returned with avengence.  This was in the 80′s when the first round of cuts was being made to NHS budgets, making it a challenging place to be.  Listening to the news and others around me discussing the cuts made me question whether I should be having all this stress for relatively little financial gain.

So, I went in search of a better paid job and a year later I got a job as a Recruitment Officer at BT in Hemel.  I ended up staying at BT for 14 years, moving steadily up the management ladder.  There was a huge amount of variety there.  You could do almost any job you wanted.  I tried my hand at customer services, telemarketing, inbound selling, and training.

In 2001, whilst still at BT I took a week off to read a book.  The reason was because I had developed repetitive strain injury which had rendered me almost disabled.  At my lowest, I couldn’t use my arms at all, not even to feed myself.  After several months off work, I decided the only way I could work again was to go back part time.  But this still proved too much.  Looking back, the RSI was only a symptom of the real challenge.  The real challenge being that I was very, very unhappy with my life.  Despite the fact that on paper my career was going well, and my pay was relatively healthy, I knew in my heart that I was a square peg in a round hole.  At home I was in a relationship that was going nowhere, and I was already into my 30′s.  The RSI as it turned out, had been a gift.  It helped me to re-evaluate my life and what was important to me.  It proved to be the itch I had to scratch and I realised that I still hadn’t found the job that inspired me to really help people.  So, the book helped me to change the course of my life and I realised there was such a job as a life coach.  Best of all it didn’t require me to mop up vomit!

I signed up to study life coaching in 2001 and was among the first in the UK to qualify.  I set up a part time practice in the hours I wasn’t working at BT.  My salary enabled me to attend tons of inspirational courses run by successful coaches in their own right.  I walked on burning coals with Anthony Robbins, rubbed shoulders with Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson, shook Wayne Dyer’s hand, studied quantum physics with Deepak Chopra and enjoyed further coach training with Thomas Leonard.  I studied NLP with Tad James, and career coaching with Laura Berman Fortgang.  You may not have heard of many of the names I’ve mentioned, but those who work in the field of personal development will agree they are some of most influential and inspirational practitioners of our time.  My learning was solidified by my own personal coach and mentor, Peter King, who taught me more about the meaning of life than words could ever describe here.  This time of personal learning proved to be priceless.

I didn’t leave BT until 2004.  Partly because the thought of leaving a well established corporation still filled me with fear, partly because of peer and parental pressure – after all, who in their right mind gives up a stable, well paid career to persue a profession  that no-one has heard of?  And, it wasn’t all bad.  My new understanding of people and their motivations was put to good use.  I was able to observe how other managers got the best, or worst from their staff, and I was able to navigate the rocky terrain of constant organisational change in a calmer, more detached way.  I even created a golden opportunity to create my own job role, as a Careers Manager where I helped other people in BT manage their careers more effectively. 

When a voluntary redundancy package came along in 2004, I jumped at it.  I realised that the only way to attract true wealth, was to follow my heart.  So, I left BT to concentrate on my coaching practice.  As it turned out, following my heart accelerated my life in ways I did not predict, and I fell in love.  I married Mark a couple of years later and we started our beautiful family just before I turned 40.  Its never too late!

Being a coach for the last 11 years has been a true honour.   I’ve worked with literally hundreds of the most remarkable people.  Not in the sense that they’re famous, but because I’ve learned to recognise that everyone is remarkable.  Everyone has within them the capacity to turn into their own uniquely beautiful butterfly.  My passion is to help my clients realise this for themselves.  And through their new-found self belief and confidence, help them to go on to achieve what they really want, whatever that may be. 

If you would like me to help you take your journey to a new level, I’d love to work with you.  I have clients all round the UK, and oversees because as well as face to face consultations, I work over the phone and skype.

Contact Swan Coaching at: 01582 413013 or email me at swancoaching@btinternet.com

Good Intentions For 2012

To Do List

Firstly, may I take this opportunity to wish you a very Happy Christmas, and a New Year that brings you all you desire.

Indeed, it is that time of year when our mind begins to turn its attention to the New Year.  If we haven’t had the best of years, we can find ourselves pouring over it with a sense of regret, frustration or sadness.  However,  I would ask you, how helpful is this in creating your future??  Yes, your thoughts do create your future!  So, rather than focusing on what it is you don’t want, how about you decide what you want instead? 

Intentions Versus Goals

 So, why is an intention better than a goal??  When I first trained as a life coach over 10 years ago, I was taught that setting SMART goals was the best way to achieve anything.  However, my experience has taught me that setting clear intentions instead makes the process much more fulfilling, and more sustainable.  The reason?  Because an intention is a heart based process, whereas a goal is purely cognitive.  An achievement set from the heart naturally holds more meaning than one that is purely intellectual.  Heart based desire will always win over logic.  Think about it.  Chocolate or a handful of dried fruit??  You get the point!!

Intentions have a greater capacity to deal with set-backs too.  If you have a goal that means you will leave the office by 6pm every evening to get home by 7pm latest, what happens when an urgent meeting is called at 5.30pm??  Do you spend the meeting worrying about missing your personal target, and feeling guilty because you promised the kids you’d be home in time to read them a bedtime story?  Are you likely to continue your goal if you ‘fail’ more than a couple of times? 

Instead, if you had set an intention to enjoy quality time with your family, it allows more flexibility, whilst stating more clearly why it is that you wanted to leave the office at 6pm in the first place.  It enables you to stay focused on the intention all the while you are with your family, rather than feeling a failure because you didn’t make it home as you’d promised.

Examples of  Good Intentions  For the New Year
 
 
  • When I’m with my family, I give them my full attention
  • I enjoy good relationships wherever I am
  • I look for opportunities that will improve my career
  • I enjoy looking for new possibilities
  • I support myself to live healthily
  • I attract financial success

Setting your intentions with someone who completely supports you, and with whom you get on well with, will add to the power of your intentions.  Napoleon Hill named this as one of his 17 Principals Of Success in his book of the same name.   He said “outstanding success has never been achieved by the effort of one man”.  The MasterMind effort is to get those of like mind to form an alliance, to work actively together in a spirit of perfect harmony towards accomplishing a definite purpose”.

If you would like to be supported with your intentions for the New Year, then I’d be very happy to be that person.
Contact Swan Coaching on: 01582 413013 or email swancoaching@btinternet.com
 
 

Easing Financial Distress

Anxious and stressed?

Anxiety and depression are not unusual at this time of year.  In particular, more people are feeling financially weaker than ever before.  These feelings can reach into the very heart of who we are because it reveals our most vulnerable weakness. Insecurity. 

Financial insecurity is our modern day equivalent of the man eating tiger.   It can trigger a permanent fight or flight response, and its this heightened, long term state of stress that causes our physical and emotional inbalances. 
The Stress Cycle
 
There is a daunting vicious cycle that high levels of stress can set in motion, and breaking its hold can be as elusive as eliminating financial concerns.  The cycle begins when negative emotional responses to stressful events and situations are repeated and become imprinted on our brain’s circuitry.  When similar future events and situations occur, perhaps something as simple as receiving an overdue payment notice, the brain seeks an emotional response.  If you don’t intentionally provide an alternative, and the common learned response pattern has previously been negative, ie., anger, anxiety, depression, etc., – the response cycle is reinforced, again.
However, you can work the brain’s efficiency to your advantage if you remember that you are the master programmer.  If you can consciously remember the last time you received an overdue bill, or came up short before payday and your response was to become angry, depressed or overwhelmed, for instance,  you can choose to respond in a more measured way next time. 
With a little practice, you can reprogramme your brain’s circuitry and your heart can help.  Yes, your heart can help!  Researchers at the Institute of HeartMath have made some important discoveries over the years about your heart:
The human heart possesses a vast intuitive wisdom and intelligence that guides us, but the many distractions in our lives, the stresses we are under, and the emotional imbalance that so often rules us can leave us disconnected and unaware of that power.
Reconnecting with your heart
 
HeartMath have many tools and technologies to help you reconnect with your heart wisdom and intelligence.  By using their free heart coherence technique, you can learn to reprogramme your emotional response to a more balanced one.  Heart coherence is the state in which your heart-rhythm patterns are smooth and ordered, such as you might see in an electrocardiogram.  In a state of coherence, stress chemical pathways reverse, paving the way for increased synchronisation between the heart and the brain.
When you focus on intentional emotions such as caring and compassion while in this synchronised state, you can achieve optimal mental clarity, which means making better choices, react to stressful events and situations in positive ways, and find calm amid the sometimes dizzying pace of world around you.
Cut Thru Technique by HeartMath®

A HeartMath Tip: Cut-Thru: This simple exercise, adapted from the HeartMath Cut-Thru® technique, can help you achieve emotional coherence and gradually release the accumulated anxiety caused by financial stress.

  • Be aware of how you feel about an issue at hand.
  • Imagine breathing in a positive feeling or attitude.
  • Be objective, as if the issue or problem is someone else’s.
  • Rest peacefully in this neutral state, allowing your heart intelligence to offer new perspectives and possibilities.
  • Imagine soaking all resistances and disturbing feelings in your heart’s compassion.
  • Ask for guidance from your heart, then be patient and receptive. While awaiting an answer, find something or someone to genuinely appreciate.

For further help and coaching around stress please don’t hesitate to get in touch either at the contact page, or call 01582 413013.  By way of easing the financial pressure at this time of year, I’m offering 20% off my individual coaching fees for new clients during December 2011 and January 2012.

Resilient Divorce

Powerful, or lonely, what do you see??

Dictionary Definition of Resilient – able to return to normal shape after stretching.  And boy, what a stretch separation and divorce can be.  If the only thing you want to dissolve is your relationship, then resilience is key.

Resilience may sound like a tough, emotion-free word. However, when it comes to our emotions during divorce, we are often unruly and chaotic.  So many questions, feelings and perceptions come into the mix.  What we thought we knew about ourselves, or the other person is often thrown up into the air, only to come crashing down  in fragments we barely recognise.  Resilience is about building the internal support mechanisms and strength of character to enable you to move through the situation with the least amount of emotional chaos as possible, regardless of what is going on around you.

If you think of it as a selfish act, then I say go ahead and be selfish.  If your emotional health and wellbeing are not at the top of your priority list, then you are in for an almighty fall.  Maybe not now, while the adrenalin of divorce papers and house sales are whirling round your body, but when the dust has finally settled, who will you be then? What will you have left to give?

How do I remain resilient? 

Firstly, you have to decide that above all else, your emotional, and physical strength will be your top priority.  When you are resilient you can achieve more, and enable you to be there for all those around you who may not have the same presence of mind as you, including of course any children that may be involved.

One proven way of building emotional resilience, is to practice The Quick Coherence Technique®, as taught by HeartMath, a not-for- profit organisation in the US. Its a very simple breathing technique that will take you a couple of minutes to do.  Yes, its really that simple! For years, HeartMath have studied the human heart in relation to the mind.  They have reams of scientific evidence that resilience is the key to physical and emotional health.  Go to their website and access their FREE Quick Coherence Technique®, at: http://www.heartmath.org/free-services/tools-for-well-being/quick-coherence-adult.html.  They also provide this information in the form of an MP3 audio file if you prefer.

You can also access The Quick Coherence Technique®,espeically for teens here:  http://www.heartmath.org/free-services/tools-for-well-being/quick-coherence-age-12-to-18.html

Also, for a great top 20 list of really practical, and emotional tips about surviving divorce may I suggest you visit:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/01/post_601_n_790653.html

Finally, if you are about to be, or are in the throws of divorce or separation and would like some confidential 1-2-1 support, or if you want to achieve some clarity about what you might want in your life after divorce, then I’d be happy to provide you with telephone or face to face coaching.

Contact Sandra at Swan Coaching Tel: 01582 413013 or email swancoaching@btinternet.com

Liability and Avoiding Stress Claims in the Workplace

Avoiding Stress Claims In The Workplace – Employers Perspective

Do you want to avoid dedicating a shed-load of resources dealing with a stress claim either in, or out of the courts?  Do you want to maintain a reputation as a credible employer?  If yes, then as soon as you are aware there might be a stress related problem  amongst your workforce, our advice would be to invest a relatively small fraction of time and money with a stress management expert like a Coach or a Professional Counsellor to work with you and your employee(s) .  This is much more likely to ensure a win-win outcome than any other route you will take.  Once an employee is able to take control of his or her own stress, they will feel empowered to make choices which may include leaving the company of their own will, or seeking to resolve the issues hand-in hand with you, rather than against you.

It is inadvisable to try to provide a counselling service yourself.  An unskilled counsellor can do more damage than good, and even the services of an in-house counselling service may not work that well if your employee mistrusts you as an organisation.

In summary:

  • Ensure that you support your employee and document your attempts to help them
  • Try to understand and find a solution to their specific challenges
  • Seek the help of an independent professional counsellor, or stress management coach

An Employees Perspective

What you will gather if you go on to read the information below, is that the way to deal with stress in the workplace is not through the courts.  It is highly unlikely that you will win, and of course the whole process of taking an employer to court is in itself incredibly stressful.  The first thing to do if you recognise that you are stressed is to seek independent help from a professional.  A professional will never divulge the details of your conversations with your employer as they will have a confidentiality clause within their contract.  If your employer cannot, or will not pay, invest in the services of a credible person yourself.  Alternatively, there is a mountain of information about dealing with stress to be found on the Internet. 

Once you recognise you are stressed, what you need to do as soon as possible is get to an emotional place of feeling more in control.  You may not appreciate that this could ever be possible given your current circumstances, but as someone who has experienced stress in the workplace, and who has worked with many, many people who have suffered from it, I guarantee you will feel more empowered once you’ve shared your issues and once you have begun to work through your emotional response to it.

Difference Between Coaching and Counselling

A very crude but helpful way to differentiate between a coach and a counsellor is that a counsellor can help clients who are depressed, or suffering from the effects of past issues or trauma to deal more effectively with their present life.  A coach can help clients who are generally well, and who are seeking strategies that offer more positive outcomes now, and into their future.  Counselling tends to be based on understanding and coming to terms with past issues and coaching tends to be about making choices that help determine a more positive future.  The best way to find the right person for you is to speak with them and if you gel, and you’re satisfied with their professional status, trust your instincts.  You will achieve the best results with someone you are comfortable with.  Your GP can refer you to a counsellor, although you may experience a long wait and you are likely to be limited to approximately four to six sessions.

What Causes Stress At Work?

As we all know, the causes of stress at work are numerous and varied.  Some of us thrive on it while others fall apart at the mere mention of the word.  However, some common factors include bullying,  frequent change or instability, too much work, long hours, poor communication, and poor working relationships.  Most have a common theme of feeling out of control of the situation.

Legal experts at ‘Connected’ offer the following information:

What Does Stress Mean When Bringing About a Claim?

A successful claimant must prove they have suffered a recognisable psychiatric injury.   “Occupational stress”, “anxiety”, “feeling depressed” and other similar terms are not sufficient.  A diagnosis will need to be made by a consultant.

Employer’s Liability

There are three legal requirements that must all be established before a court will find an employer liable to pay compensation for stress injury:

  1. The employer ought reasonably to have foreseen that the employee was at risk
  2. The employer failed to take reasonable steps to prevent such foreseeable injury
  3. A recognisable psychiatric injury occurred as a result

Proving that the illness was foreseeable to the employer is fundamental to the success of a stress claim.  It is the employees responsibility to make it clear to the employer that there is a risk of impending harm to health arising from stress at work, thereby triggering the employer’s duty to do something about it. 

This of course is one of the most challenging things for an employee to initiate, and for a responsible employer to manage thereafter. 

Work Overload Claims 

An employee has to be able to prove that the psychiatric harm they suffered was foreseeable. Of course, this is extremely challenging and so claims are rarely successful.

Bullying and Harassment Claims

There are two ways this kind of claim can be made, the first under negligence, the second under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997. This Act does not require foreseeability of injury.  The conduct complained of must be extreme, stopping little short of what would amount to criminal behaviour.  It must be established that the conduct was

  • oppressive and unreasonable
  • targeted at the claimant
  • happened on more than one occasion

Once again, claims of bullying are difficult to prove because its so subjective.    The claimant needs to prove that they were the victim of a campaign of bullying that was likely to cause mental illness.

How Can Swan Coaching Help?

Swan Coaching is happy to provide employees and employers with an independent, professional, and confidential coaching service to help provide effective solutions to stress in the workplace.  Call us on: 01582 413013, or email us at: swancoaching@btinternet.com

Mandeep’s Career Change Story

Mandeep, confidently career changing

Tell us a bit about you and your career at BT

I live in Warwick with my wife and young daughter. I am 41 years old. I joined BT in 1995 with a degree in Economics.  I started as an Associate Planner and worked in London. During my 15 years in project management at BT, my roles were varied.

What made you think about changing your career?

I decided to seek help to review my career in May 2010 after two periods of intense work and having to take time out due to work related stress.  I had experienced some major life events all at the same time.  I’d got married, had a child, and moved out of London whilst changing jobs to work in a high pressured environment with BT Directors.   

I wanted to spend more time with my new family, being properly present when I was with them (i.e. even when I was in their company, I was not actually present but thinking about work!)

I found that my core principles and foundations were being worn away.  Due to my promotion, I found myself working for managers who worked hard, long hours and although respected family life privately, were professionally pressured to do more and more and expected the same from their staff. 

What was it about Swan Coaching that captured your interest?

We had our first session and I felt immediately comfortable with her style.  I was reading about the law of attraction and other self development books that just happened to be on her recommended reading list.  A connection was born and I set up 5 telephone sessions.

It was also interesting that Sandra was organising a Law of Attraction workshop.  I signed up for that as an opportunity to learn more and meet Sandra in person, as up until then our work together had been entirely over the phone.

 

How did your work with Swan Coaching develop? 

This was interesting – initially I signed up for executive career coaching, because I wanted to feel more in control.  I wanted to enjoy my job, rather than feel pushed along by changes in organisation restructuring. 

Early on Sandra helped me find another position in BT.  Once I’d started the new job however, I realised I’d lost my passion for the corporate lifestyle, as the new job still meant interacting with people who shared  the very corporate mindset I was trying to get away from.  I felt trapped. Sandra had me think further on what I wanted and what values I held. BT had announced a voluntary redundancy programme and for the first time I felt empowered and I began considering leaving BT.  I don’t think I would have been equipped to make that decision had it not been for Sandra’s help and guidance.

Our coaching direction changed from executive coaching, to leaving the company.  Sandra’s coaching style empowered me to make choices based on how I really felt.  Prior to this, my analytical mind had been focused on what I would lose, rather than what I would gain always concluding that it would be silly to leave a well paid job with great benefits and a good pension!

So, with her support, I made the decision to apply for redundancy.  When I got notification that I was accepted, it felt like a relief but also excitement at what the next step might bring.  That’s when Sandra and I took our sessions to another level!

What was it that Swan Coaching did that helped you move into a new career?

 Sandra’s coaching encouraged me to connect my head with my heart.  This was a revelation, and this is how I found my true passion.  She kept prodding away at me -ever so gently I should add, encouraging me to see what ignited me, and then reflecting that uniqueness back to me so I could recognise it in myself!

She allowed our sessions to be very fluid and broad.  She was able to completely tune into me and would sense from my voice where I would light up – talking about children’s spiritual books – and where I would dip –looking at my CV.  I’m not sure I would have seen that without Sandra.  So when did I begin to acknowledge my own interests, and learn to value them, I started to explore this further in my sessions, and then on my own between sessions.  I began to research a business idea.   Once I figured out what the business would be, I found a purpose.  Then I was on a roll!  

Sandra also offered practical suggestions, signposting me to Business Link, the Government run organisation that helps people setting up in business. I followed up and began to attend their free business coaching sessions for new start ups.

Most importantly Sandra encouraged me to believe in myself, my interests and my values and constantly reminded me in her sessions that whatever life / career I wanted, I could create.  Since attending her Law of Attraction workshop, I incorporated these principles into the process. I learned that like attracts like, so if I wanted to change in my life/career then I needed to focus on that, seek out others who had done the same, and start to live and breathe my decision, as if it had already happened.  I started to read more about the universal law of attraction as it fascinated me! 

What key areas has working with Swan Coaching helped you with?

My career change for a start! Number 1 on my list, I think without Sandra I would have got a similar job in the same or similar industry, rather than consider setting up my own business.

She has also helped me spiritually.  Using heart-focusing techniques, I came to my decisions based on feelings and inspiration rather than perspiration!

Emotionally – I have gone through quite an emotional journey, so the emotional support has invaluable.

What is your new business?

By the end of Autumn 2011 I’m launching a book store that specialises in children’s spiritual books, and a Reiki healing centre based in Leamington Spa.  It’s a world away from corporate life!

How has it been working with Swan Coaching, and why would you recommend them?

I can truly say that my life has changed dramatically but smoothly with Sandra’s style of coaching.  When I started to work with her, I felt I was looking up at a big mountain. Without Sandra’s encouragement and advice, I would still be standing at the foot of that mountain. Now I feel that I’m on the descent, and can continue with my journey knowing for sure that I am on the right track, full of energy, passion and excitement.  Sandra’s coaching has enabled me to face my fears head on and use them to positive effect.

I recommend Swan Coaching if you are standing at the foot of your mountain, hill or even a slight gradient, as Sandra will assist you greatly with those first all important steps, and be there to support you on the rest of your journey should you feel you need it.

If you are interested in talking to Swan Coaching about a career change, we’d be happy to hear from you.  Various packages are available to help fit in with your budget.

Call: 01582 413013.  Skype calls can be arranged.